Thursday, April 19, 2018

Don't Point Me Out!!!

Greetings my dear Gothlings,


In vain with my previous blog post, "Is Mundane Men's Fashion Dead?" when I find myself at a Non-Goth bar or venue (it can happen!), I am more often than not the best dressed and most interesting, albeit mysterious, man in the room. I am not trying to be full of myself or narcissistic by any means -- those of you that personally know me well fully understand that I am actually quite a very humble person -- so, quite the opposite. But, the fact remains that in a room filled with mundanely clothed Day-Crawlers, I stand out like Captain Kirk buying lunch at the Death Star's cafeteria!!!

When I frequent one of these Non-Goth venues, I try to slink in a corner or dark spot, keep to my introverted self, and typically focus my attention on my trusty notebook, or my phone, while quietly observing the room. Without fail, however, I will notice, by way of my (excellent) peripheral vision, that some guy is sneakily pointing me out to his girlfriend, date, wife, or what have you, and telling her to "Hey! Check out that weird guy over there! What's that's guy deal, huh? *chuckle*" in effort to look and act cool by making fun of me in true high school tradition.

This was the first and foremost biggest mistake this guy could have done! Please allow me to explain with an all too familiar scenario...

After I finish my hellish night at my restaurant, I usually head over to Lillie's in the Times Square area (not to be confused with the original Lillie's in the Union Square area) to decompress and sometimes to kill some time before heading out to a Goth nightclub event. At this (very) ornate Victorian bar, I am considered the "Irregular Regular," and I am very good friends with the entire staff there. They are really a great bunch! I basically walk in and there is a big glass of white wine with ice on the side at the ready on the bar. My lovely regular haunt! Now, you must realize that Lillie's Times Square is found in the (duh!) Times Square district...and that equates to = TOURISTS!!! But not just any tourists...no, no, no...we're talking about clueless tourists! Think Day-Crawlers times 10!!! 

Here...Watch this educational video about visiting New York City...






So, of course I am already anticipating some stares and hushed comments about my appearance. Some idiot always eventually asks me what Broadway show do I act in...as if actors go to a bar in full costume and makeup after their show! PHFFFTTT!!!! No...the absolute worst are the guys pointing me out to their date to seem cool...wrong move!

Without fail, soon after I settle in at the long bar and start sipping my wine, some "dude" will eventually take notice of me while I am minding my own business...writing my next blog post in my notebook. This guy will nudge his lady friend and the following always plays out like this: 
  • He leans toward her while keeping his eyes locked on me.
  • He whispers to her, "Hey, check out this guy behind you!"
  • He gives her a slight glance and gives a directional nod towards me with his chin.
  • She, now curious, tries to nonchalantly, but cautiously turns her head, or leans over (depending on who is facing who), to take an eyeful of what is yours truly. 
  • She turns back or leans back to face the guy a wide-eyed expression that denotes, "Wow!!!"
  • The guy responded with something like:
    • I know, right?!?! What a weirdo!
    • Fuckin' guy must think he's a Vampire or something!
    • That freak must still think it's Halloween!!!
But this is the exact moment when he just screwed himself over! You see, in a Goth bar or nightclub, I may look stylish for my surroundings...but so does every...one...else...there! But put me in a Day-Crawler environment...and WOAH NELLIE!!! Suddenly, BLAMMO(!!!), I am the novelty in the room. Now, please, again understand that I am not saying that I am some sort of supermodel hunk...maybe quite far from it! But I am "different," "odd," and thus  "refreshing." I am definitely not mundane nor mainstream, and my outlandish look begs the question: "What's his story?!?!"






As I am currently writing out this blog entry in my trusty notebook, I now find myself at Lillie's sister establishment called Papillon Bistro & Bar, located a bit further into midtown, and an entire 20-something white yuppie Day-Crawler wedding party just showed up here! It's like I'm an unwilling wedding crasher!!! Let's see how this plays out in "real time," shall we? 

(More bullet points)

  • The men all enter the establishment's entrance ahead of their respective dates -- not a classy move for people dressed in tuxedos) and form a sort of "fraternity cluster" at about mid bar while the ladies try to find seats and stools at the bar and tables. 
  • The bride's maid party are all wearing identical dull blue dresses -- easier to identify them by.
  • The staff seems a bit overwhelmed by the sudden influx of so many people without warning, but they are pros and they are handling this tidal wave over drink orders exceptionally well!
  • Everyone in this party, now with drinks in hand, are clinking glasses and making small toasts (not the bread kind). Meanwhile, I am literally writing these words down in my notebook.
  • Ok...so now the group surrounding me is mainly focused on each other -- which is a good thing -- until someone takes notice of me scribbling and now wonders, "Who would be writing at this time of night?"
  • This same person then notices my writing hand...it has unconventional silver and black rings on it. Then this person takes notice of the black nail polish that cover my long and pointy fingernails. 
  • This person's gaze then travels upward to inspect my attire, long hair (with a sliver streak on the right side), my facial hair, my new Frankenstein's monster scar, and then...the coup-de-gras...my white eyes!
  • This person, who I will now identify as one of the bride's maids (remember the dull blue dresses?) now places her left hand over her mouth to covertly whisper to her nearest friend, situated directly to her right, while darting her eyes between her friend and my existence. 
  • I roll my eyes and let out an all too familiar sigh.
  • I try to concentrate on writing this out, but I soon realize that the whispering and the intermittent stares are now starting to spread around me faster than the latest flu virus!
  • Soon enough, I am the topic of choice throughout the room! This wedding reception after-party now has nothing better to do than to try to figure me out!!!
  • Eventually -- as par for the course -- one of these frat (that's right...I said FRAT!) guys loudly burst out, "Satan over there must still think it's Halloween!!!"
  • More eyerolling from me. Then without taking my gaze off of my notebook, I loudly reply for everyone to hear, "No...but I do have IMPECCABLE hearing!!!" and then continue to scribble away these notes.
  • Soft, yet nervous, laughter at the expense of this "dude" getting caught and called out for being a douche gently flows throughout the area.
  • Now that these people feel wonderfully awkward and uneasy, I allow myself a wide and satisfied evil grin. "Mission accomplished." The bartenders also share a wink and a grin with me!
  • After about five minutes or so, I get a tap on the shoulder (I hate it when people touch me unwarranted like that). I quickly snap my attention to the person doing the tapping. "May I help you?" I ask sharply. "I'm sorry," said another one of the blue clad bride's maids, "but I want to apologize for my friends back there. They're just being drunk jerks."
  • I tell her, "Thank you for coming over and apologizing. It's very brave and nice of you, but you don't have to apologize for their actions."
  • "I know," she returned, "but I just wanted to make it known that we don't all think the way they do...a lot of us actually find that your dark style is really cool! Again, so sorry if you were offended those jerks!"
  • I thank her and offer to buy her a drink as an olive branch before sending her back to her flock...er, wedding party.
Moral of the story: Maybe they aren't all that bad?



Ok...Back to Lillie's and back to the main blog post at hand...

As I was saying before, I am most likely the farthest thing from the best looking man in the room, but I am the most interesting, by far. And it never fails that when someone points me out to someone else, I suddenly become the focus of interest. 

What happens next in this (reoccurring) scenario is that the person who pointed me out to the other will now get progressively annoyed, angered, and then downright jealous because now their date is fully interested in what I look like and they keep averting their eyes towards me. 

I've even had some women walk straight up to me while leaving their boyfriends   behind them just to ask me what my story was or if I was a magician. Naturally, the boyfriend is sitting back there glaring and fuming at me! Now, while I never wanted this unwarranted attention, I can't help but think, "Well, buddy...you kind of brought this up upon yourself!"

But, to be fair, I have point out here that we Goths, in this regard, live along a hypocritical double edged sword! On the one hand, we enjoy and even take pride in dressing in "off-stream" fashions that will inevitably draw unwanted attention...and on the other hand, we then we get pissy because mainstream people take notice of us because of our outlandish manner of clothing. It is our biggest conundrum. I too am guilty of that!

Usually, the one way I diffuse a potentially hostile (and all too often) situation is to simply fake ignorance or indifference and once again focus my attention on my phone, trusty notebook, or some other distraction like an Anne Rice novel. But I have to keep hyper-aware. Since I live in New York City, I tend to avoid any and all confrontation, and I make DAMN sure that I am on very friendly terms with the entire staff of the venue/establishment where I find myself in...just as an added insurance and support. And always remember to know how to read a room for hostile people (that's for another post)!


This entire blog post reminds me of when I used to write my "Day-Crawlers in the Mist" series on my old Romancing the Goth blog, wherein I would, as a Goth, put myself in harm's way to observe and report to you, my fellow Gothlings, the strange and odd behaviors of Day-Crawlers out in the wild! This time around for my new and improved blog, I've decided to name this new series: "I SEE DAY-CRAWLERS!" I hope that you will follow along in my upcoming adventures!!!

But before I go...one last educational video about visiting New York City...




See you in the Dark!

Sir William Welles



1 comment:

  1. I think mainstream mens fashion is dead... Or at the least,juvenile -shorts, baggy teeshirt,ballcap, and flipflops. So many grown men would wear this for an evening out... Mainstream dudes (generally) need to "step up". Bring men's wear back to life.

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