Monday, April 16, 2018

Romancing the Goth Tip #67: Flower Power

Greetings my dear Gothlings,

I first have to admit that the last time that I posted to my “Romancing The Goth” Blog was six years ago…back in 2012…it was a cute and personal post about a private shared joke involving kittens, bath salts, and face biting…don’t you judge me!!! Those were much more happier times for me back then…even though it would eventually end up becoming the “Island Rage Years.” Since then, my heightened sense of romance, which was far more keen and focused had now become jaded and lax. My heart had become cold & jaded due to irreparable events within this toxic relationship…I won’t get into any further detail…that might be for another day. But now, finding myself free of said relationship, I also found myself longing for the days when romantic measures and passions filled my mind and compelled me to creator come across romantic ideas and solutions with a Gothic twist to share with like-minded friends. and this post is my first attempt at just that since 2012…so let’s get to it!!!

As if this new “Romancing The Goth” tip couldn’t get any more Gothier, it actually stems from the death of my beloved Pink-Toe tarantula, named Dexter. Just two days after returning from an amazing week long trip to New Orleans for Halloween last year (2017) I found Dexter’s tiny crumbled body in the corner of the terrarium. Dexter was a very gentile and cute spider with the most adorable pink camel-like toes (see picture below), and its sudden death hit me exceptionally hard…also magnified by the lingering past relationship issues.

To help me cope with this grievance, I decided to honor Dexter by crafting a small ornate coffin to hold the body and one of the molted skins of this precious and kindly tarantula. In thinking up this coffin idea, I was able to find a pre-made small wooden coffin shaped box on the Internet which I ordered and painstakingly painted matte black (of course). I also crafted a small silverpuaque paper with Dexter’s name printed on it. But the arachnid box of final rest was still missing one last sentimental detail…something funerary…and then, “EUREKA!” FLOWERS!!! 

I quickly scoured the Internet to find some miniature flower, origami flowers, and then finally to miniature paper flowers. JACKPOT!!! These were of the right size the the perfect look when it came to placing a tiny bouquet on Dexter’s little wooden coffin. 

I eventually found a website that sold a wide assortment of these tiny and cute handmade paper flowers — made in China, of course — in all sorts of colors. The website is called and it’s actually an online party favor supply store! They sell bags of 60, 72, or 144 of these mini paper flowers for ONLY $4.00 - $5.00!!! Colors include anywhere from black to turquoise, from red to yellow, and beyond! Complete with some tiny green leaves and a bendy (is that a word?…bendable, maybe?) green colored wire stems!

To honor Dexter, I wanted to order the same color as my dearly departed, Royal Blue and pink, for the toes. But unfortunately, they were out of stock of the blue ones. So, I decided to go full on Goth for the bouquet: Black & Deep Purple! Below you can see the final result…I was, and still am, rather proud of the results of Dexter’s final resting vessel (R.I.P. Dexter)

Eventually, above and after all of the sadness, I started thinking about these amazing little flowers. For most years of my life I have always had a conflicted outlook when it came to freshly cut flowers…actual flowers. My grandmother was obsessed with gardening when she wasn’t working as head chef at our restaurant, so I have been around flowers for most of my life! My conflict is this: On the one hand, they are festive, beautiful, meaningful, and are distinctively a part of the language of love and romance…On the other hand, fresh cut flowers are nothing more than a plant’s severed sexual organ that is slowly dying in a vat of stagnant water! Let that sink in for a second or two…kind of horrific, if you ask me!

Moreover, I have long noticed how cumbersome and annoying it is to lug around a full bouquet of flowers around on a date!nAt my restaurant, I have many love-lorn men thoughtfully offer their paramours an impressive assortment of pollen sticks, only to then try to figure out what the hell to do with them or how to store then for the rest of the date!

And then Eureka moment No. 2!!!

I discovered that the same mini colored paper flowers that I have found to ornate Dexter’s coffin could be the perfect alternative to actual real flowers! Here’s why:

They a tiny and extremely cute.

they are super inexpensive.
They are very thoughtful if you combine the favorite colors of the person you plan to give them to.
They are twice as thoughtful is you factor in the simple crafting and D.I.Y. element that you do to make a small bouquet (don’t just throw a handful of loose mini flowers at them!).
They don’t die and rot.
they are pocket sized, hence not cumbersome, and you can easily surprise someone with them at any time…think like a magician!
They are something VERY unique and even collectable!!!

The trick with these miniature paper flowers is to be creative in assembling your very own bouquet. My suggestion is to start with twelve individual paper flowers and arrange them in a nice looking bunch. Then use the wire stem of the last on that you introduce to the bunch to wrap around, and bind, all of the other flower stems. Then lastly, snip the long wire stems down to the desired length you want.

Added tip: It would also be wise to invest in a pair of wire snips or a very sturdy pair of scissors to deal with the long stems.

Once you have perfected your miniature paper flower bouquet arrangement technique (added ribbons, wrapping paper, etc.?) it will be time for the presentation. This is where the magic happens! You must preface this by saying that you got an amazing bouquet of flowers for the person you made these for. Then, instead of whipping out a big and bulky bunch of flowers, you will present them with this well planned, cute, and surprisingly unique gift that can be kept as a loving moment forever…or they can easily burn them to ashes if you ever mistreat that person…just sayin’.

And that’s how the death of a beautiful Pink-Toe Tarantula became the inspiration something simple, small, inexpensive, and ultimately very romantically Goth. 

See you in the Dark!

Sir William Welles


  1. So cute....One might, depending on the preferences of the recipient attach the tiny bouquet to a pin back (sold with jewlry findings in craft stores), allowing the wearing of it...